Bargain Beauty

Did you know that March 8th was International Women’s Day?  Yes, even my spell checker doesn’t believe me.  It is a day set aside to celebrate the achievement of women past, present and future.  Yeah, I didn’t get the memo.  I spent it at home, doing laundry and taking care of my children.  I’m pretty sure I didn’t have shoes on for most of the day either.

I spent a good part of the morning pondering a Groupon for discount Botox.  How’s that for modern woman hear me roar?  You would’ve been curious as well.  It was only $99.00!  That could be such a bargain….also such a disaster.  What if it is only enough for one eyebrow.  Maybe they get you in there and then do the bait and switch.

“Well, Mrs. Surly Mom, this is going to be a spectacular result over your left eye.  If you want to be balanced though, hand over another four hundred clams!”

Yes, in my mind the discount botox doctor has a vague gangstorial accent and never uses the word “dollars.”  The words dough, moolah and semolians are always at the ready.

That leads me to another thought.  Just how quality is this $99 Botox?  Is it really Botox or upon closer inspection does the box say Botax?  Will I wake up not able to move my eyebrows because my whole forehead is swollen to the proportions of a Neanderthal?

In case you haven’t guessed….I himmed and hawed until the Groupon expired.  If I do go down that road, I’ll suck it up and pay full price.  You know if I am willing to pay full price then I have really made up my mind.

As much as the little crows feet are annoying and that permanent scowl line between my eyebrows frustrates me….. I don’t know if am okay with the inability to emote fully.

I was watching a trailer for the movie, “Rabbit Hole”, starring Nicole Kidman.  I’ve always thought she is a lovely woman.  However, even in that small snippet, I noticed that her forehead didn’t move.  If you don’t know anything about the movie,  she plays the mother of a small child who has died in an accident.  The movie deals with the aftermath.  Extremely emotional stuff……”ugly cry” territory…yet not even a crease up there.  You think she would’ve put down the needle for this movie for full effect.  She did get an Oscar nomination out of it so she must have done something right. (“Oh..emotionless, ice queen…this part is perfect for me.”)

I detest my crow’s-feet.  The responsible party for their very existence is my smile.  Why didn’t my mother teach me that fake Hollywood smile?  You know the one where you are only using the bottom half of your face?  If I started young, this condition wouldn’t be at situation critical.

Instead, I have that big-whole-face-crinkling-of-the-eyes kind of smile that is detrimental to the thin dermis around my ocular area.  I’ve tried the half-smile for pictures…it is hard to master without looking a bit “Barbie-esque.”  So to avoid plastic…I resort to plastic?  Eh.

Oh well…domestic goddess duties call.  I’ll keep my gargantuan grin and be begrudgingly happy with it, wrinkles and all….for now.  On second thought, a quick stop at my inbox before I get busy.

Hello Groupon!


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