Of Boobs and Men


 noun \ˈbüb\

Definition of BOOB
1:a stupid awkward person :  simpleton

I am compelled to write something about (gasp!) breastfeeding.  Mainly, so I can be polarizing and make my male readers feel awkward and uncomfortable.

I jest.  Really, I write this  because I have very strong opinions on the subject being that I did it for six years or so of my life.  Yes, I only have three children. (Insert math here.)  Yes,  I breastfed two of them beyond a year.  Yes, I am one of THOSE women.  Yes, I am THAT woman who unabashedly fed my babies in public.  *My apologies to the young gentleman waiter in that one restaurant who may have accidentally spied a nipple…

I read an article today about a mother in the UK who was asked to take herself to the back of the bus… er nursing room in the hospital after she started breastfeeding in the waiting room.  The staff was afraid she would offend somebody.  I find that request offensive and was even more appalled by some of the comments made by readers of the article:

Marge9 hours ago

 I totally agree. Why do these women want to put their breasts on display? I think what the nurse did was very kind and caring. When will this crap stop.


Angela Page9 hours ago

There are people who starve for attention in public because they don’t get enough at home. Making a scene or complaining about what you did doesn’t make you look good. Truth be told breastfeeding is what caused you to breastfeed. Look at that! How is your picture looking now? Can we imagine that? Yes, we can! And we sure don’t want to see that. Thank-you or your cooperation!

There were many, many more…. but posting them would be a chore and trying to decipher some of them would drain all joy out of my grammar loving soul.  Take for example, Angela’s baffling comment, “breastfeeding is what caused you to breastfeed.”  I’m not quite following but…. I’m sure she had a point in there somewhere….. (Cue the banjo music)

The furor that surrounds this topic is laughable.  As if we public breast-feeders are a brazen bunch of attention grabbing jezebels, hell-bent on creating a commotion and corrupting the masses with our bountiful bosoms.  That’s exactly what I had in mind when I was dealing with a red-faced screaming baby in a restaurant…. I need MORE attention brought to me.

My friend laughs at me because when I hear a baby crying and fussing in public, the first words out of my mouth are, “Pop a boob in that baby’s mouth.” It’s pretty much the cure-all for a fussy baby.  Nature is an amazing thing isn’t it?  We have these built in baby soothers.  No need for toting all the bottles…formula…pacifiers…and such around if you don’t have to.

I advocate for breastfeeding  because it is natural.  Since when did artificially sustaining our babies become the norm?  The fact that breastfeeding and breastfeeding in public is a topic of debate in this day and age is dumbfounding.  Being offended by seeing some woman breastfeed her child in public is most definitely a #Firstworldproblem  of the worst kind.  It’s sad that we as a society had to take something that was pretty much perfect….deem it “savage” and now are trying like hell to make it “acceptable” again.

To all those young women out there who are thinking of becoming mothers or have a bun in the oven….just do it.  It’s good for you, good for the baby…. good for the couple two tables over trying to enjoy their dinner out.

Mommy & ByrdAfterall, a boob by any other name…….